All Mice Go to Heaven

I TA for a few classes at BYU. One of the classes is the Anthropology of Food. Well, in class today, a group presented on Food and Magic.

They set up the table complete with lit candles and a cauldron. Then they pulled out the ingredients: a dehydrated lizard, liver of a blaspheming Jew, eyeballs, and a mouse. Now, the mouse was living. They had the poor thing in a jar no bigger than he was. As a lid on the jar they had a cork and cloth. Somebody pointed out to them that he probably didn't have enough oxygen which was why he was freaking out. Minutes later, when it was time to add the mouse to the potion, we noticed that it had stopped flipping out...

Noser was pulled by his tail from his tiny grave and dropped him with a plunk into the cauldron.

"Guys that really wasn't supposed to happen... But it did.." This was the only eulogy Noser would receive.

Poor Noser. But he's in heaven now.

Is there a moral to this story? Yes, there is. But I feel that if I need to explain it to you, I'm interfering with Natural Selection.

Open After Dark in Provo...

Not many local businesses fall in this category. Even fewer of them are mildly enjoyable or interesting. Another rarity in Provo? Anything worthwhile to be found in the Daily Universe--our campus link to the outside world. Yikes.

Well, last Tuesday was a day to change all days. On the front cover of the afore mentioned rag that I wouldn't use as a toilet-seat cover was this picture accompanied by a story about the Pennyroyal Cafe.

I have since dined here a few times and spent a lot of time taking advantage of an uncensored internet, comfortable seating, great food, and good music. I'm too busy to do a full-on restaurant review, but just wanted to encourage anyone in the area to check it out. But keep in mind that it's new and still getting things sorted out. 

Biggest plus (other than the internet and bottomless Dr Pepper)? It's open until 2am but if you want to enjoy it sans the local teenage crowd, come by for lunch and have a table all to your self.

Audrey in My Bathroom Part II-The Football Game

So, my bad, apparently this was Whitney's favorite part of the dream. I had deemed it one of those weird, nutso parts, however, and left it out of my original version. I guess I'll let you decide. 

Later during our visit with Ms Hepburn we attended a Football game. Yes, now this dream is officially AMAZING! Football and Audrey Hepburn? Can life get any better? I submit that... well anyway. So we had awesome seats because life is just awesome when you're friends with Audrey Hepburn. Someone was throwing something into the stands...(this part's a little foggy so I'll ad lib for those of you that need details)...T-shirts are boring, let's say Chihuahuas. So, uh, the Cheerleaders and Cosmo are throwing free little Taco Bell dogs (Cosmo shoots a couple out of his potato cannon). 

Just a little Back Story on this: this is a bit of a touchy issue for me. I've been at BYU for "several" years and I have NEVER. NOT ONCE. EVER caught an item thrown to the crowd. I mean, it's gotten a little weird. I've freaking gone to Women's Basketball games and been one of 12 people in the Marriott Center and STILL never caught a thing. 

So, of course, we get a little dog heading our way and Audrey snatches it right out of the air in front of me. Luckily, before losing my cool, I remember that it's Audrey Freaking Hepburn (I'm pretty sure that's her middle name) and that I just can't be mad at her. Of COURSE she should have that Chihuahua.

Well, that's the end. There were other parts of the football game that I really don't remember because I waited too long to post about this dream, but in the long tradition of my dreams about football games, I ended up on the field, involved in the game winning play. 

Once again--great dream.

 

I ♥ Andrew Bird

Never before has my marriage been so threatened by one of my many pseudo-celebrity crushes. Andrew Bird, a.k.a "Stone-cold Fox", is too damn sexy, talented, and sexy for his own (not to mention, MINE) health. Brian Kehl? Jonathan Tevernari? So childish and immature.

There's a new Sheriff in town, boys. 

Don't worry, Whitney knows. He's probably a little "gay for Andrew" now anyway.

Audrey in My Bathroom

A while ago I had one of those dreams that just won't go away with the opening of your eyes. While truly a wonderful dream, it was, of course, full of weird, nonsensical parts that I will try to skip when possible. 

So, living in our current 1 bedroom , 1 bathroom apartment, Whitney and I were asked to accommodate an extra guest that had brought her children to play with the family next door (sorry, Bob and Michelle--the people upstairs): Audrey Hepburn. Audrey. HEPBURN. Sleeping arrangements weren't really discussed but the big issue was the bathroom mirror. One morning of her visit she and I were crowded in between the washer/dryer and shower sharing the cracked mirror on the bathroom window when I just couldn't take it anymore--Audrey Hepburn simply deserved better for her morning beauty routine. We had our landlord come over to help scour the garage for lights and a mirror and set it all up as a nice vanity in our living room in between our fireplace and TV. Much better. 

You should be happy to know that she was a delightful, undemanding guest and gave me makeup tips which I don't remember at all. It will be my lifelong sorry.

So, here's to you, Audrey. Come again soon.

Be your own valentine.

Well, it seems that Dove has jumped on the "anti-Valentine's Bandwagon" that my husband parades for.

Upon eating a Dove chocolate heart he received the message "Be your own valentine" on the inside wrapper. I'm not going to go into all the many different meanings this could have, but I thought it was, at the most obvious level, kind of sad.

Happy Freaking Valentine's Day.

Shameless.

Yes, it's been an alarmingly long time since I've posted on here. Yes, I tend to avoid it. Yes, I might even fear my blog(s)--the other one is an alternate which Whitney has been encouraging me to drop... But this morning, as my MANY medications kicked in, I began to feel empowered and optimistic and promised myself that I would post today... or at least get a draft started.

My main purpose here today is to confess one of my greatest, darkest secrets. I often hide in closets. Well, not physically. I hide my support of many things in closet. You will often hear me confess, while talking about some book, movie, or political movement that "I'm a closet fan". Some of these things are legitimately in that closet. We all have guilty pleasures, and a few of my closet items gather dust in the darkness because in light, natural or artificial, they are truly shameful and embarrassing to me. Others really don't deserve this sentence and are merely there in due to my pathetic attempt to maintain neutrality and mystery.

Now, don't get too excited--I'm not sharing all of my closet loves. I'm simply bringing to light something that you already all know about me anyway and that I'm done trying to be neutral about. This doesn't mean I can't be bipartisan. I am registered as an Independent but I am so sick of hearing senseless, ignorant judgments from the extremes in general. At this moment it's the right that's really pissing me off. Now, this may very well be due to the demographics I most interact with right now.

Hold on, now. I DON'T want this post to be an attack on the stupids... even though I actually kind of DO want that...

I just want to say to everyone--left, right, and center: I support Barack Obama. Not blindly. Not ignorantly. Not by default. And not grudgingly saying "well, It's historic". No. He's just a man. And having considered all the choices, I can't imagine how so many people around here can still think he wasn't the best choice. (That doesn't mean I think he was the lesser of two evils.)

Today, waking up to the knowledge that we would soon have a new president--an intelligent, good person who will be making important decisions in the coming years with deliberation and consideration of all sides--made today one of the sunniest days I've had in a while. It's pretty thrilling to have a president that you're not ashamed of--someone that doesn't make me cringe when I consider the world audience.

Say what you want. I'm just so sick of all the nonsense for and against our new president. Things are looking up, and for the first time in a LONG time, I'm excited for the direction our country is headed (which is saying something considering our present state). For the first time in a LONG time, I am proud to be an American.