Thursday, February 26, 2009

Audrey in My Bathroom Part II-The Football Game

So, my bad, apparently this was Whitney's favorite part of the dream. I had deemed it one of those weird, nutso parts, however, and left it out of my original version. I guess I'll let you decide. 

Later during our visit with Ms Hepburn we attended a Football game. Yes, now this dream is officially AMAZING! Football and Audrey Hepburn? Can life get any better? I submit that... well anyway. So we had awesome seats because life is just awesome when you're friends with Audrey Hepburn. Someone was throwing something into the stands...(this part's a little foggy so I'll ad lib for those of you that need details)...T-shirts are boring, let's say Chihuahuas. So, uh, the Cheerleaders and Cosmo are throwing free little Taco Bell dogs (Cosmo shoots a couple out of his potato cannon). 

Just a little Back Story on this: this is a bit of a touchy issue for me. I've been at BYU for "several" years and I have NEVER. NOT ONCE. EVER caught an item thrown to the crowd. I mean, it's gotten a little weird. I've freaking gone to Women's Basketball games and been one of 12 people in the Marriott Center and STILL never caught a thing. 

So, of course, we get a little dog heading our way and Audrey snatches it right out of the air in front of me. Luckily, before losing my cool, I remember that it's Audrey Freaking Hepburn (I'm pretty sure that's her middle name) and that I just can't be mad at her. Of COURSE she should have that Chihuahua.

Well, that's the end. There were other parts of the football game that I really don't remember because I waited too long to post about this dream, but in the long tradition of my dreams about football games, I ended up on the field, involved in the game winning play. 

Once again--great dream.

I ♥ Andrew Bird

Never before has my marriage been so threatened by one of my many pseudo-celebrity crushes. Andrew Bird, a.k.a "Stone-cold Fox", is too damn sexy, talented, and sexy for his own (not to mention, MINE) health. Brian Kehl? Jonathan Tevernari? So childish and immature.

There's a new Sheriff in town, boys. 

Don't worry, Whitney knows. He's probably a little "gay for Andrew" now anyway.

Audrey in My Bathroom

A while ago I had one of those dreams that just won't go away with the opening of your eyes. While truly a wonderful dream, it was, of course, full of weird, nonsensical parts that I will try to skip when possible. 

So, living in our current 1 bedroom , 1 bathroom apartment, Whitney and I were asked to accommodate an extra guest that had brought her children to play with the family next door (sorry, Bob and Michelle--the people upstairs): Audrey Hepburn. Audrey. HEPBURN. Sleeping arrangements weren't really discussed but the big issue was the bathroom mirror. One morning of her visit she and I were crowded in between the washer/dryer and shower sharing the cracked mirror on the bathroom window when I just couldn't take it anymore--Audrey Hepburn simply deserved better for her morning beauty routine. We had our landlord come over to help scour the garage for lights and a mirror and set it all up as a nice vanity in our living room in between our fireplace and TV. Much better. 

You should be happy to know that she was a delightful, undemanding guest and gave me makeup tips which I don't remember at all. It will be my lifelong sorry.

So, here's to you, Audrey. Come again soon.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Be your own valentine.

Well, it seems that Dove has jumped on the "anti-Valentine's Bandwagon" that my husband parades for.

Upon eating a Dove chocolate heart he received the message "Be your own valentine" on the inside wrapper. I'm not going to go into all the many different meanings this could have, but I thought it was, at the most obvious level, kind of sad.

Happy Freaking Valentine's Day.